My Sunshine: 4/365

It was a day I could have easily fallen into a full blown panic attack. Little sleep, and though I feel okay, losing a grandparent certainly takes an emotional toll. My little guy woke up on cue a little after 7 and simply asked for his nose to be wiped and to be tucked tight again. Bad sign. I called him out of school, had my mother in law come over and took my little lady to swim lessons. The whole way there I took deep breaths and talked to my ego. "I choose to see love instead of fear." You see, my children being sick or even being exposed to a sickness is the number one trigger for anxiety attacks. As I was talking myself down, I pumped up Pentatonix, my little girl's favorite album. She asks for "clapping hand music." I looked in the rearview and she sat there so sweetly singing all of the lyrics. What a sweet little moment.

Throughout the entire day, I found so much reprieve in this sweet little girl of mine. She kept my feet on the ground and kept me smiling all day. Instead of being being lost in my head and not being present, I chose to be fully present with my kids today to stay grounded. The house is a mess, laundry isn't done, I didn't get my class work done, but I stayed grounded. My little guy, though rocking a high fever and super uncomfortable, is doing just fine. It hasn't been an easy day; I'm completely drained, but he's doing okay. And me? Anxiety is at bay. Small victories, people, small victories.

Thank you sweet girl, for always being my sunshine.

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