I Didn't Partake in Easter Traditions and I'm Still a Good Mom.
Yesterday was Easter, "for those who celebrate." (This is in quotes because, quite frankly, I think it sucks that we have to include this phrase after every holiday greeting or mention.)
I was pretty unplugged all of break for no other real reason than I feel under the weather. Every day we do our best. Our best today may look different than yesterday and even if we aren't functioning at 100%, it doesn't mean we're not giving it our all and that's okay. This is very hard for me to understand and I feel very down and out when I'm not 100%, but it's all apart of life, so I guess I better get used to it.
As I scrolled through some of my social media, naturally it was littered with Easter festivities. Easter Bunny visit, a lot of dying eggs, family pictures with coordinated outfits, pictures of all that the Easter Bunny left behind, pictures at church, etc. And I love it all. I love seeing everyone happy and being a family.
And then I started to feel bad about myself. I wasn't doing any of this. I didn't show social media my kids' Easter baskets. I didn't take pictures of us dressed up for Easter dinner, I didn't post anything. Would people think we don't celebrate? Will people wonder if something is wrong? Will people judge how little I do/did?
And then I got pissed off. Why has social media created this expectation. Remember the days when you'd didn't have to post anything or have a feeling of "one upping" one another? Not that we consciously do it, but come on. I bet some of us feel really proud and excited to share a kick ass decorated Easter egg. And then naturally someone sees your kick ass egg and either hangs their head or decides their gonna do their own kick ass Easter egg. It's like we can't just celebrate the damn holiday.
I supposed right now I should interject that these are my unfiltered feelings. They're about myself and I'm projecting. I don't want anyone to think I don't like their dyed Easter eggs or beautiful outfits. I really do. And if they make me or someone else feel bad, we are fully capable of regulating our own emotions and are able to look away. So keep dying and keep looking pretty.
As I made these observations, though, I decided to group text a few of my favorite girls. I told them that I didn't dye any Easter eggs... in fact my kids never have. And it's because I can never get my shit together. That I just wanted to keep it real. And they each, with no hesitation, texted back some "keeping it real" Easter moments themselves. I smiled and loved them harder. And realized, we all have our shit and not a single one of us is perfect. And that's okay because we're happy.
- My kids have never dyed Easter eggs, but I have a dozen white eggs in the fridge and 3 dying kits.
- My son has never gotten his picture taken with the Easter bunny.
- Our outfits didn't match and my son wore a Hawaiin button up shirt 2 sizes too small, wore sunglasses the entire evening and interrupted family dinner with his pants down around his ankles.
- My kids got 3 pieces of candy in their baskets and a few dollar bin things and a potato head. Nothing special.
- We laid around the entire day, except for an hour where the kids rode their Barbie jeep around the lawn for a bit. And then they drove it to dinner. (my in laws are 2 blocks away)
- We didn't go to church because I haven't been great about getting us there and I refuse to teach my kids to be the Catholics that only go to Mass on holidays.
- And that was it. Nothing else. Nothing special.
As I put my daughter to bed she looked at me and said, "Mom, this was the BEST Easter ever." And that's when I realized. We don't need to "do it all" on the holidays. That the stuff isn't going to bring the feelings. The feelings come from the fact that we spent the entire day together as a family, just being. That we hug and kiss and snuggle all day and just be. It's in that moment that I realized I didn't ruin their Easter by not dying eggs with them even though I kept saying I would. Or that they still had an awesome holiday even though I never took them to the Easter bunny even though I said I would. They smiled big all day and radiated joy. Because of this, I know that I'm a good mom.
I hope you all had an amazing Easter whether you did it all, did nothing or something in between. And no matter which way you did it, you did it right and it was perfect. You're a good mom.